


falling through the cracks

by belldroy101



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bottom Im Jaebum | JB, Canon Era, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Praise Kink, Sexual Content, Top Park Jinyoung | Jr., that major character death is never permanent, this sounds so intense but it rly ain't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-20 08:17:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17618780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belldroy101/pseuds/belldroy101
Summary: Jaebum lives a million lifetimes, and the only constant is Park Jinyoung.(Or, the universe has spent so many years trying to get Jaebum to see what was in front of him, and it takes Jaebum a long, long time to catch up.)





	falling through the cracks

**Author's Note:**

> I said this in the tags but i'll say it again here- the major character death comes from the fact that this is a reincarnation au so evidently past interations die, but it’s never graphic and they always return!
> 
> this is for the prompt, “reincarnation/soulmates fic! preferably that shows both their modern-day iterations and at least one of their past iterations! They might not find each other in every timeline”
> 
> Much love to the internet, which helped me do a ridiculous amount of research. My google search history the past couple weeks has been wild. I tried to make it as historically accurate as possible, but obviously some stuff is dramatized, added, or omitted for the sake of fiction and plot. 
> 
> Me: yeah...i’ll totally do this ficfest...i’ll pick a nice straightforward prompt and write a nice little thing and it’ll be nbd….3k at the max  
> Me, frothing at the mouth, looking at this historical reincarnation prompt that i know i will get carried away with: oh well

**_Korea, sometime in 1400_ **

Im Jaebum is set to be king, from the day he was born, and it shows when he talks to people. The baby boy that came from between the crest of his mother’s thighs was indeed the child of the king- and when he was shown to the people dressed in the colorful patterns of royalty, they cheered for the man he would become.

And he is not _quite_ that man yet.

Jaebum has mastered the look of disinterest, of haughty arrogance, very well; and at fifteen he is used to people flinching away from him as he speaks, or avoiding his eyes as he walks down the hall. The prince knows what must be done to make people listen, and how to narrow his eyes so servants bow at his presence.  He is to be detached and respected, as all kings are and as he one day will be. It is a lonely life, as he has been told, but at fifteen he now deems himself past such trivial and weak things as loneliness and longing. At fifteen, Jaebum is already determined to be the pillar of strength his country will need.

Im Jaebum, at fifteen years old, is used to being feared.

Which is why he doesn’t understand why the scrawny son of his mother’s chambermaid is looking at him dead in the eyes. He looks younger than Jaebum is, and his face shows no fear- only a kind of naive curiosity, at his future king. The audacity of it, the _disrespect_ \- Jaebum is absolutely speechless at this child.

“What are you looking at?” He hisses, making sure his eyebrows are downturned in an intimidating glare.

The boys eyes widen as he is spoken to, but he still does not stop staring. Anger finds its way into Jaebum’s chest, and he clenches his jaw to hold it back. A king must be detached, but he must also be patient. He can not show his anger, because emotion is weakness.

Jaebum just focuses on breathing.

It takes a moment, but the boy replies, “You are....not as tall as I thought you would be.”

He is about to turn and tell this commoner exactly how damn tall he is when his uncle walks in.

“Ah! Jaebum, I’m glad you’re here.” He says cheerily.

His uncle does not have the face of a king- not like him and his father. Uncle’s face is friendly, and his eyes are soft and gentle where Jaebum’s are hard and demanding. His father always complains about uncle living in the castle, but the king's brother just smiles and pointedly ignores him.

“Good to see you and Jinyoung are getting acquainted.”

Jaebum starts speaking, “I wouldn’t quite say-”

“Because Jinyoung is your new servant!” His uncle interjects.

“ _What_?”

Uncle gives him a pitying look, “You’re so….grim Jaebum,”

“I’m not-”

His uncle waves his arm to silence him, and Jaebum remains quiet out of respect.

He continues, “I fear your father has sucked all sense of fun and joy out of you. I think having a companion closer to your age will be just what you need to liven up a bit and get that glare off your face.”

“I’m not sure my father would ag-”

“Good thing your father isn’t here young prince!” His uncle cuts in cheerfully, “Now, now, start getting along children. I have important matters to discuss.”

His uncle turns one last time, making direct eye contact with him, as Jinyoung does nothing but watch on with that stupid, bewildered expression on his face, “And Jaebum?”

“If I hear a word about you being cruel to that young boy, it is not your father you will have to fear. Be kind, and maybe you’ll learn something of value for once.”

Jaebum’s mouth is still gaping open when the door slams shut behind him.

 

╬╬═════════════╬╬

 

Sometimes, the castle is awoken in the middle of the night by the call of someone’s name, and it used to make the inhabitants rise in a panic- but by now, everyone’s grown accustomed to hearing the prince screaming for his servant at all hours of the night. They just groan, and sigh, and roll over in bed.

Jaebum yells once more for good measure, ignoring the slight pull in his throat.

“JINYOUNG!”

He pauses for a second, listening for the telltale signs of footsteps. He smirks when he hears it, a pair of feet sprinting down the carpeted hall before someone bursts in through the door, “Yes,” Jinyoung pants, “your highness?”

Jaebum scoffs, “You’re getting old Jinyoung, it took you at least twice as long to get here as you used to.”

Jinyoung closes the door behind him with a roll of the eyes, “Perhaps I just don’t care as much if you’re being assassinated.”

“Who’d pay you if I was dead?” He counters.

“Fair point. What’s it like to have someone _paid_ to hang out with you?”

“Bitch.”

“Whore.”

“ _Peasant._ ”

A pause.

“You want to play yutnori?”

Jinyoung laughs, and goes to grab the game board from the cupboard while Jaebum lights the candles next to his bed. The servant sits next to him on the expensive cloth, a far cry from his own weathered blankets, and starts setting up the game.

“You know, if you wanted me to play a game with you, you can just ask. You don’t have to wake the whole castle and give me a heart attack every time you’re lonely.”

“But that’s so much more fun.”

Jinyoung shakes his head at him, but doesn’t say anything else. The pair play in comfortable, familiar silence for awhile, with the castle quiet and asleep around them. It is the servant who breaks the stillness.

“As much as I love beating you time and time again in yut,” He says, “Is there any particular reason why we are playing this in the middle of the night?"

Jaebum shrugs, “Couldn’t sleep.”

Jinyoung throws him a sympathetic look.

“Nervous about tomorrow?”

“Psh,” He scoffs, rubbing a game piece with his thumb, “When am I ever nervous?”

“Jaebum.”

Jinyoung doesn’t call Jaebum by his first name often, only when they’re alone and being serious. The first time he had done it, Jaebum had been sixteen and crying so hard he couldn’t breath, and he’d tried to punch Jinyoung out of sheer reflex for the disrespect of calling him without his title. But Jinyoung just caught his hands to his chest and pulled him closer, and Jaebum did not have the strength to break away.

Jaebum looks up at him, “Okay, maybe a little.”

“Coming of age is a good thing! They’ll be a big party, all of the attention on you, the best food, tons of pretty girls, tons of new opportunities available to you-”

“Tons of new responsibility put on me.” He says quietly.

“Yes, that too, but Jaebum, you can’t keep focusing on the future. You’ll make yourself miserable with worry. We’ve _talked_ about this before- focus one day at a time.”

Jaebum doesn’t reply right away, and Jinyoung thinks he might be done opening up for the night. He has learned quickly that the prince is only vulnerable in short doses, and when he is finished with the conversation, there is no use trying to go on.

But after a moment's hesitation, the prince says,  “Jinyoung, my father wants me to pick a women.”

Jinyoung blinks, once, twice, three times, before he eventually says, “I- what?”

“Tomorrow, after the party. It won’t be long before I need a wife, so my father wants me to practice. I’ll pick a women, and we’ll stay together tomorrow night as I walk into manhood.”

He fiddles with the game pieces again, “He says...I’ve been spending too much time with you, it will make me seem weak to potential suitors.”

Jinyoung shakes his head in annoyance, “I’m your _servant_ Jaebum, my job description is to serve you. Of course we will be together. He’s just angry that your uncle is the one who put me there- he’s never approved of me.”

“I know I just- tomorrow I fear that things will change.”

“Of course they will,” Jinyoung dares to put a hand on the princes shoulder, and Jaebum does not push him off, “But that change doesn’t have to be bad. I’ll always be here.”

“But Jinyoung I-”

Jaebum cuts himself off, and shifts so Jinyoung’s hand no longer makes contact with his body.

“It’s silly, I’m being silly. The party will be fun, and afterwards I will lay with a women, and I will have a nice night.”

“Yes, exactly.”

They go their separate ways a few moments later after Jinyoung cleans up the game board and blows out the candles surrounding Jaebum. It is not until he gets back to his own quarters, and lies on his own tiny bed that he gets the persistent pull in his chest telling him he’s missing something.

 

╬╬═════════════╬╬

 

Jinyoung stands at the door with the guards the following night on the crown prince’s birthday. The party had been magnificent, full of amusements and fun and performances and indulgence and beauty. But nothing had beat the sight of Jaebum, glowing in the light of the candles, the flames flickering along his brilliant smile. They had dressed him in red, and he had looked both regal and deadly in the nighttime. Jinyoung could believe that today was the day he had become a man, because he surely was no longer that angry little thing he had met four years ago. Time had been good to him, sharpened his jaw and strengthened his muscles and smoothed his skin- he was a vision walking, and _everyone_ had wanted to look at him.

And now, he lays with a women. She was a pretty little thing, from what Jinyoung had seen as she had walked past. Small body and cute breasts and an upturned nose, she would make a fine lay for a future king. But Jinyoung imagines Jaebum kissing her, and atop her, and inside her, and he feels a bitter jealousy drown him every time. He doesn't know why he is experiencing this agony, why when Jinyoung hears _him_ moan through the doors there’s a whirlwind of anger clouding his vision and tensing his muscles. That women did not know Jaebum, not like he did, who was she? To pleasure him like a whore, when he deserved so much more than that. He deserved- he deserved-

Another low groan bleeds out from the chambers, and Jinyoung stops his train of thought. He is a servant to the prince, a companion- yes, maybe, sometimes even a friend- but that does nothing to change the fact that he has no right to feel possessive.

How can he possess something he will never be allowed to have?

As the night goes on, painfully slow, a few more sounds find their way outside. Most now are the high pitched calls of a women, but every now and then another voice he knows is his prince finds their way out too. The guards ignore it, as they were trained to do, and Jinyoung stands there with his fists clenched- trying to remember that it is not supposed to bother him this much.

And Jaebum emerges the next morning, finally a man. And Jinyoung allows himself to remember how pretty this man had sounded when he moaned, and how the firelight highlights his beautiful face, only when he is all alone, and the darkness keeps his secrets safe.

 

╬╬═════════════╬╬

 

The war has been going on for so long, and his king is so tired.

He turned 25 only a few hours ago, but there is no time for celebration. No time for the simple games of the past, where they could entertain themselves with childhood games. Jaebum’s father had been gone for three years, his uncle for one, and Jinyoung can see how these years have aged the man he knows. His face is still devastatingly handsome, still a beauty to behold, but he has a haunted look in his eyes and darkness that was never there when he was a boy. Gone is the arrogance of a naive young man, and what remains is the scars of an inherited war and the heart of someone who has seen death.

Jinyoung knocks on the door, and Jaebum grants him permission to enter. He is hunched over war plans and maps- eyes straining against the candlelight.

“Jaebum, you’re exhausted, you need rest.”

“How can I rest?” He replies, not looking up, “How can I rest when my soldiers are dying to the East? They do not rest, so neither will I.”

“You will do them no good if you are fainting from tiredness your majesty- please, just for awhile.”

 Jaebum does not reply.

“I know you can hear me, Jaebum.”

 “What happened to your majesty?”

 “Your majesty is only for when you’re not being insufferable.”

 Jaebum cracks a smile, however small, and Jinyoung counts it as a victory.

 “So, never?”

“ _Now_ you get it.” Jinyoung says, he walks over closer.

“Have you seen Jisoo today?” He asks.

 “I haven’t the time.”

“Jaebum, she is your _wife,_ ” The words taste bitter on his tongue, but in the past two years he has grown used to the flavor, “She can bring you comfort and love, if you seek her out.”

“I’m too busy.”

“You’re always _alone_ , Jaebum. I worry for you.”

“Don’t worry for me, worry for our country.”

“We will win.”

“But at what cost, Jinyoung?” This is the first time Jaebum has looked at him since he walked in; and his eyes are so sad, so gone of their mirth and passion and playfulness, and Jinyoung’s heart is breaking.

“Not all things are in your control, you can’t carry it all on your shoulders.”

 He walks closer to where Jaebum is hunched over, and places his hands on his back- working to rub out the kinks. 

“Then who will carry it?”

“All those who support you, who love our country just as much as you do. But you need to let them, you need to _let_ me.” He puncates that sentence with working out a stubborn knot in Jaebum’s back, and the king lets out a small groan underneath his hands.  

“Jinyoung- I, make me forget? Just for today. I won’t ever ask you again but just for one day,”

 There it is- one more night in a sea of other forgotten promises and threadbare agreements. When they have had who knows how many one nights together over the past two years.  

 “I don’t want to remember.”

Jinyoung does not know if he is talking about the war that they are fighting or Jinyoung’s hands on his skin. He likes to think it is the former. But he is not foolish enough to believe that.

“Lay down, Jaebum.”

 The king obeys.

 Slowly, Jinyoung pushes the fabric of Jaebum’s tunic up, revealing the skin beneath it. The candle light highlights the muscles of Jaebum’s stomach as they contract and release under Jinyoung’s hands. He pushes the fabric up higher, and reveals the dusty brown nipples on his chest- Jinyoung brushes a thumb against one, and feels Jaebum let out a harsh breath.  

“It’ll be okay, your highness.” He whispers, “I’ll take care of you, like I’ve always done.” 

Jaebum’s voice is shaky when he says, “Call me- call me Jaebum, please Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung is pressing kisses into the hollow of his hips, and pauses to look up at him, as sweet and earnest as the day they met, and say, “Okay Jaebum, I’ve got you.” 

Jinyoung runs a hand over the bulge underneath layers of clothing, and Jaebum lets out a whine.

“Make sure the door is boarded.”  

Jinyoung gets up to doublecheck, and his eyes wander to the little desk in the corner. He knows that Jaebum sees where he is looking.

“Do you- do you want?”

“Yes.”

Jinyoung nods, walks over and puts the little vial of oil in his palm. Jaebum isn’t looking at him on purpose, and Jinyoung tries to pretend it doesn’t hurt.

He wonders sometimes, if he looks at Jisoo when they lay together.

Jinyoung comes back to the bed, and rests on his knees between Jaebum’s spread legs. He leans to kiss him, Jaebum’s hair is getting long in the back, and he threads a hand through it to tilt the older’s head up to meet him. Jaebum parts his lips with a sigh, and lets Jinyoung explore his mouth with his tongue.

 A hand tightens on his hip, and he knows that Jaebum is getting restless. He pulls his own tunic over his head as Jaebum lies back down, and he pushes down what’s left of Jaebum’s clothing, so he is finally bare in front of him. 

It strikes him sometimes, how lucky he feels to get to see this. The king is lusted after by many, and he has been for a long time. They look at this beauty and they desire it; women, even sometimes men, and Jinyoung is the one who gets to see this. His cock curved against his stomach, his strong thighs, the way he opens around oiled fingers. He’s the one who gets to know. The way that he moans, the way he blushes all the way down to his chest, the way he sighs when something is inside of him- finally. Jinyoung knows that this vulnerability, to be like this in front of him, is not something that he can take lightly. Even Jisoo, regardless of the jealousy he may feel at her getting to carry his name- does not get Jaebum like this, and he is reminded again every time they do this what an honor it is to cherish someone like Jaebum.

But Jaebum is not here to be cherished, at least not tonight, not when the war is aging him more and more by the minute. Tonight, with the anxious shifting back and forth and the insistent pulling on his hair, he knows tonight is a night for relief.

And Jinyoung could never deny his king anything.

So he doesn’t take his time, because they don’t have time, and he is not naive enough to pretend like they do. He fucks Jaebum like he needs, hard and fast, and Jaebum has put a hand over his mouth to try and stop himself from being too loud.

“Jinyoung,” He whines, “Jinyoung- over, over,” And luckily he understand exactly what he’s asking, so he flips the older so that Jaebum is facedown and he is above him- pistoning his hips. Jaebum whimpers into the pillow something that sounds like his name, as the new angle making the glide easier, and that causes a possessive thrill to run down his spine. Jinyoung knows his hands are going to leave bruises, and he is overwhelmed at how much he loves the thought- that there is proof, evidence in the form of his fingerprints, that he was here. That Jaebum got to be his, and no one else’s, at least temporarily.

Jaebum has been weakly pushing back again him, but his tiredness has finally kicked in, and he lays pliant underneath him. Content to be given what he had wanted all along.

“You going to finally sleep now?” Jinyoung pants into his neck, feeling underneath Jaebum so he can reach his cock. He’s gotten the sheets so wet, he’s so _wet_ , and that alone makes Jinyoung have to close his eyes and breathe so he doesn’t come before him.

“Yes,” Jaebum gasps, “Yes I’ll sleep I promise,” Jinyoung has started moving his hand, so slick that the noise makes the men beneath him cringe, and Jaebum loses all coherence after that. He always knows when he’s getting close because the king starts babbling, nonsense words and phrases that are so jumbled and random that it is simultaneously devastatingly sexy and upsettingly cute.

This, he thinks, this is his favorite part.

Jaebum goes quiet when he comes, a result of them always having to do this in secret, but the way he tightens around Jinyoung’s dick- his back bowed and rigid, is enough sign for Jinyoung to know that he’s done a good job. He’s going to pull out, maybe jerk off on Jaebum’s stomach if he wants him to. But the other man stops him with a hand reached back to find his hip.

“No,” He whispers, “Inside.”

This is the ultimate test, the ultimate trust. This is something Jinyoung knows he is given and something that is only for him, and he feels heady with the power. This man is a fighter of wars, a ruler of a country, but right now he is on his stomach- sweatslicked and lax, asking for Jinyoung to release inside of him because he _wants_ that, because he likes it.

The thought makes his release approach even quicker, and it only takes another thrust or two before his own hips still, and he kisses the back of Jaebum’s neck as the warmth spreads through him.

Jaebum falls asleep when he is halfway through with cleaning him up, and Jinyoung feels nothing but relief. In a few hours, the fighting will begin again and Jaebum will be missing from him even though they stand right beside each other, but for now- the man can escape to his dreams, and Jinyoung can safeguard him from danger; just like he always has.

 

╬╬═════════════╬╬

 

The dynasty dies with the death of the king.

 He left no heirs, and there are rumors about his relationship with the women he wed. But they seemed to be quite close, so the citizens tend not to believe them. Jaebum dies to a wound in battle, defending the Southern borders. At 43, he is quite old to still be fighting, but the spitfire king had insisted on battling among his soldiers as long as he lived- and he had completed his promise.

 He died beside his longtime servant, and Jinyoung had spent his years afterwards dedicated to speaking the strength of the adored ruler into existence. Telling people of his courage, of his strength, and of the love he had for his people. They were like brothers, he said, and the kingdom was grateful for the years they had had together.  

This is the legacy he left behind, and it is not a bad one.  

Jinyoung’s legacy in this lifetime is loyalty.

 

* * *

 

**_London, Industrial Revolution, 1798_ **

Men like him don’t belong in places like this.  

He holds his briefcase close to his chest, and keeps the brim of his hat turned down low. The air in here is thick with smoke, and he is grateful for the way it hides his appearance. He walks up to the counter, and the man barely looks up from his newspaper. Jaebum clears his throat to get his attention. 

“You looking for a lady?” The man asks, voice gravelly, “We have all kinds- white, negros-” He looks up, and sees Jaebum’s face for the first time, “Or something more….exotic for you? We got girls imported that are your type.”

He wants to ask what exactly his type is, but thinks it is better to stay quiet.

“I actually-”

It’s now or never, he still has time to run, he can still walk away from this without getting in too deep,

“I actually...I heard you could offer me something different.”

The man looks at him again, and there’s a long pause. For a moment, he thinks he’ll have to be more direct, but then the man’s eyes light up in recognition and he says, “Ah, you’re looking for a boy?”

“I- yes. If that is possible.”

“Of course it is, we’re not picky here. I couldn’t give a shit who you fuck as long as I’m getting paid! It’s all the same to me!” The man laughs, and several of his teeth are missing. Jaebum grimaces.

“We actually have someone just perfect for you, just your _type_.”

 There it is again, that phrase, _your type_ , as though this man knows anything about him or what he likes- Jaebum feels a bit sick, and wonders again if he should just go home.

“That’ll be fine then. It makes no difference to me, you can assure me that they will be clean?”

“Of course, only the finest for our guests. You’ll pay him when you’re done. Room three upstairs, second door on your right. Make sure to knock before you enter.”

Jaebum nods, and the man winks back at him. He is once again reminded that he is with the lowest of the low, the scum of the city, and his fists tighten around the handle of his briefcase.

This is a bad idea.

He ascends the creaking stairs, and stands in front of the door for a long moment. Eventually though, curiosity gets the better of him and he knocks on the door. A melodic voices says, “Come in,” and he steels his nerves and turns the knob. It is when he sees what’s on the other side that Jaebum realizes what “type” that man had meant, and he really shouldn’t be so surprised- the person in front of him was Asian. And for a second he wonders if he should just leave, wipe his hands clean of this before he’s even begun.

But the man is so pretty, with dark hair and full lips and sultry, intelligent eyes and Jaebum does not belong here.

“What a surprise, I don’t normally find another one of me running around. Where you from?”

“Korea.”

The man smiles, and Jaebum can’t stop staring at his lips.

“Me too sweetheart, you have an English accent though, you’ve been here awhile?”

“My parents came first when the ports officially opened. I grew up here.”

“I see, tell me your name.” He beckons Jaebum closer, and Jaebum takes a moment to slip off his shoes. There is no turning back now.

“Jaebum.”

“A strong name, I’ll tell you what- because you’re special. People here call me Dolly, because I’m pretty like a China doll.”  

He pauses to laugh, Jaebum can’t tell if it’s real or not.

“It’s not quite right of course, but to the people here it’s all the same. I could be from anywhere as long as my eyes are small. They don’t give a fuck.”

“They call me Dolly, but you, gorgeous.”

He listens forward to whisper in his ear.

“You can call me Jinyoung.” 

Jaebum takes a harsh step back, nearly over balances and falls over, and Jinyoung laughs again but this time it seems real.  

“You don’t belong here.”

“I- how do you know where I belong?”

“I can always tell,” He trails a finger down Jaebum’s neck, “It’s easy.”

Jaebum find himself tiring of being toyed with- his nerves are too on edge for games, “Listen, you’re a whore right?”

“Sure.”

“Then can we just get this over with?”

  
“Now what kind of attitude is that? I’m doing you a service, and this is how I’m treated?”

“You’re right. I am,” He takes a deep breath, “I am sorry.”

 Jinyoung gets closer to him even still, their faces are only a few inches apart, and Jaebum feels a prickly kind of heat in his stomach.

“So let’s get this started then, shall we?”

Jinyoung kisses him, wet and sloppy. And the heat in his stomach spreads, works it’s way up to his chest and down to his groin. Jinyoung doesn’t stop kissing him, but maneuvers him down so his back his on the bed and the prostitute is spread out on top of him.

Jinyoung pulls away, his eyes half lidded, and says, “So what exactly is it that you want sweetheart? You can fuck me if you like.”

Jaebum’s body reacts to that, a sign of his own weakness, and Jinyoung grins at him.

“Sounds like a plan then.”

Jaebum hates himself, but he came here for sex with a boy, and he’s already doomed so he might as well finish it off. He’s already admitted his shame, there is no where lower to go.

“Can we-”

Jinyoung raises his eyebrows.

“Can we….do this the other way?”

A knowing smile crosses the others face, and once again Jaebum is reminded that this is not where he should be and not who he should be with. He hates that Jinyoung knows what he means, that now he knows what it really is he came here for, and he can use that against him if he so wishes.

“Of course we can darling,” Jinyoung expression has softened, and Jaebum is not sure if that makes him feel worse or better. “I can take such good care of you.”

He fucks much more gently than Jaebum would expect from a whore. He takes his time with Jaebum, fingering him open until he’s panting against the old pillows. When he slides inside him for the first time- there’s a long moment of quiet. Just the feeling of Jinyoung’s hot breath against the back of his neck, and of the cock that is spreading him open. Jinyoung sighs as he eases himself out and back in for the first time, and Jaebum feels a blush spread across his face in result of the sound he makes.

“You can- you can go faster,” He sighs, pulling Jinyoung closer with his legs hooked around his hips, “I can take it.”

“I’m not the first, am I?” Jinyoung asks.

“No. Does it matter?”

“No.” Jinyoung sighs as he buries his nose in the hollow of Jaebum’s throat, biting at the thin skin underneath his chin, “Doesn’t matter at all.”

He doesn’t go much faster, instead his hips run in slow, fluid circles that have him biting back groans. It feels so deep, so satisfying, like it runs down to his core. His essence is this, he has never felt more at peace then he has right now, with a man’s cock in his ass in the criminal underbelly of this city.

He must be making noises, because Jinyoung is murmuring soothing words into his cheek. He’s saying things like, “Baby, sweetheart, love,” And Jaebum wants to tell him stop- he wants to tell him no, I am none of those things. But pretending feels so good right now, and he can pretend that this is all okay and let this stranger call him baby and feel him inside him because he is only human, and he has held himself back for so long.  

“God, Jesus,” Jinyoung groans, “You’re so tight, you feel so good love.”

Jaebum feels like he’s floating, like he’s on another plane of existence and Jinyoung’s words are taking him there. He’s so far away right now, and the only thing anchoring him is Jinyoung’s cock driving into him and his clever hips working some kind of magic. He doesn’t even realize when he comes, only notices because the wetness is there, and Jinyoung runs a hand through the puddle on his stomach to put two fingers in his mouth. Jaebum watches him, eyes half lidded, and Jinyoung maintains eye contact as he sucks them softly and pulls out. He gets up on his knees, with one hand working over his own dick, heavy and proud in the soft light of the room. He dips his fingers in the liquid on his stomach again, and this time reaches them towards Jaebum. He’s giving him the option, Jaebum realizes, he can say no, can pull away. But he wants to impress this man, wants to make him feel good too, wants him to keep complimenting him and calling him pretty names so he leans forward and takes them gently into his mouth. His face tenses at the bitter taste of his own come, but Jinyoung throws his head back at the sight, murmurs, “God, you’re so pretty baby.” And his own release joins Jaebum’s own his stomach before he collapsed beside him.

“You’re supposed to be paying me for that but somehow I feel like I should be paying you.” Jinyoung laughs, and it pulls Jaebum out of whatever state he was in.

This wasn’t anything, this wasn’t- wasn’t a relationship. This was a stranger, a business transaction. And Jaebum all at once feels very foolish, with drying come on his stomach and his dignity nowhere to be found.

Jinyoung hands him a clean towel, helps wipe up the mess, and Jaebum remains silent.

Afterwards, when the towel has been discarded on the floor, Jinyoung does not kick him out right away. Instead he smokes a cigarette as he lounges in bed, the blanket covering only the bare minimum, and still revealing the milky thighs and taut stomach and dark nipples. Jaebum forces himself to look away as he pulls on his pants.

Jinyoung raises his eyebrows and offers him a drag, and he takes it.

“So, you married?” Jinyoung asks.

Jaebum sits on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes, “What’s it matter to you?”

“Nothing, just curious.”

He continues on, “A man who takes cock that good must have been holding out for a long time.”

“I’d really appreciate if you didn’t say things like that.”

“Oh what? You’re all business-like now that we’re finished, but I’ve been inside you sweetheart,” He hears Jinyoung getting closer. “And you weren’t so formal then.”

He wraps his arms around Jaebum from behind, leans in low so his lips are close enough to his neck to give him shivers, and his breath laves over his skin. Jinyoung starts moaning, all low and sweet, and Jaebum realizes with a sick feeling in his stomach that he’s imitating him.

“Please..” Jinyoung whimpers, “Harder please, I need it so bad-”

Jaebum shoves him away.

“If you’re going to make a fool out of me, then I’d better get going.”

“No baby, you misunderstand. I wasn’t trying to make fun.” Jinyoung soothes, “I’m sorry, you’re just so sweet to tease- you get all red right here.” He says running his fingers along the flushed redness of his neck, “It’s so cute.”

That causes a pleasurable feeling to work it’s way into his chest, something bright and hot. But the moment is gone, the spell is broken, and Jaebum does not belong here. He needs to leave before his mind tricks himself into needing to stay

He moves Jinyoung’s hands off of him,

“I really need to leave.”

He throws a bundle of bills towards Jinyoung before he can say another word, grabs his briefcase and hat in a whirlwind of frantic motion, and then off he goes into the night.

 

╬╬═════════════╬╬

 

Jaebum _is_ married.

Jaebum has two kids, and a wife. And he never goes back to that building after that day. Jaebum lives to an old age, and is surrounded by his children and grandchildren- whom he loves dearly.

Sometimes, on certain days when his mind betrays him, he’ll think back on that one stolen night and the man he had shared it with. But the thoughts go just as quickly as they had come.

 But he never went back.

He does not know what ever happened to the man he called Jinyoung.

In this life, Jaebum dies peacefully at an old, ripe age with the ones he loves beside him, and his secrets only his own.

  

* * *

 

**_Seoul, South Korea, 2009_ **

Tying for first with someone else is not the most ideal outcome, but Jaebum is still high on the win even with the other boy beside him taking up space. Jinyoung is younger, with a silly haircut and a vastly different voice, but as long as he lets Jaebum hold the celebratory flowers he really didn’t care at all. This was the start of everything Jaebum had been fighting for, and he would not let anyone get in his way.

Especially Park Jinyoung.

After they get off stage, Jinyoung shakes his hand- it’s slick with sweat and makes him cringe, but he accepts it regardless.

“I look forward to working with you more,” Jinyoung says, and he’s so _earnest_ , almost cute in a kind of plain way. He looks vaguely familiar, and he wonders if they might have crossed paths before. Jaebum doesn’t let that train of thought go any further, and instead just nods and returns the sentiment. They go their separate ways, and Jaebum thinks little of the younger boy.

(He doesn’t know it at the time, but he would be seeing much, much more of Park Jinyoung.)

(He won’t know it for much, much longer, but he has already seen so much of Park Jinyoung.)

 

* * *

 

**_Rural Illinois, United States, 1908_ **

Jaebum’s sister got married in 1907, but Jaebum had been gone working on the Anderson’s fields all last year. He’d been saving up money to move out of his parents house and go out West, but then his father’s health had rapidly deteriorated and he’d had to come home and tend to him and the farm anyways.

So it is the summer of 1908 when he first meets Jinyoung Park.

Leave it to Nayeon to find the only other Asian family in Illinois and get a husband out of it. She always was the traditional type, even though half the men in town were fawning over her from the second she started to fill out her dresses- she wanted to keep it consistent and raise perfect Korean babies. The thought made Jaebum scoff, but he was glad she had found someone to make her happy. Nayeon would always be young in his eyes, always someone he needed to look after and take care of. So the thought of her being married was still hard to him to process until he actually meets the man in question.

And he walks into his parents kitchen, and there they both are. Jinyoung Park is the same height as him, maybe a little shorter, and he got that kind of sweet country innocence that Jaebum would think anybody except for Nayeon is faking. He seems nice enough, maybe a little plain, but they’re out in the middle of nowhere- so he doesn’t expect the man to have a shining personality.

 

╬╬═════════════╬╬

 

Jinyoung kisses him in the barn a month later.

Being home has been tough for him, with his father’s condition continuing to get worse, Jaebum has had to start considering just what the future holds for him. His mother is distraught and frightened, and to make it worse she hears of things happening back in her home country. They are speaking of invasion and occupation, and he knows the loss of her culture on top of her husband will be devastating. He has taken to hiding the newspapers, so she cannot see any updates. He is the only son, and he should be the one to take care of things after his father dies. But he wants so, so badly to pass this on to Nayeon and Jinyoung- let them be the perfect farming couple so they can have a million little children and he can run as far away from this place and these fields and these people as possible.

Jinyoung Park, he discovers, holds this sentiment as well. He actually understands it quite well, but he had ran away to where they are now. He had learned English from bits and pieces and passerby and remained strong even when people had tried to undermine him. Jinyoung still said his prayers at dinner in Korean and bows to elders and is this perfect representation of something Jaebum feels so cut off from. In some ways, he is the son his parents had probably always wished they’d had. And maybe there’s a bit of him that resents this man for it. Maybe he resents his bravery and his resilience and his refusal to adhere to something that is not his own. When Jaebum let himself be absorbed into it.

And then Jinyoung kisses him in the barn, and Jaebum’s world goes off kilter.

An almost gentlemanly peck of his lips, a soft whisper of, “I know you’re like me too,” And a comforting hand sweeping across his back. Jaebum runs then, before Jinyoung can say another word. The other man reaches for him; but as though he knows that he was reaching something far from his grasp- as though he knows that he’s going to leave even before does- Jinyoung does not call his name. Only waits with outstretched fingers as the distance between them increases.

He sees them in the kitchen later, Jinyoung’s arm is around Nayeon’s waist, and she is smiling up at him as though he has put all the stars in the sky. They are going to have a million little children, they are going to have a good life together, they are going to raise a family on the same farm him and Nayeon grew up on- and it will be as perfect as Nayeon always dreamed.

Jaebum leaves the next morning, going out West until he hits Washington State, and makes a new life for himself in Seattle.

He eventually goes home for a visit after receiving word of the birth of his second nephew, and the death of his father. Jinyoung and him make eye contact from across the floor, and he only feels like he can breath again when he is walking away from this place.

He doesn’t return again.

Their lives never intersect again, and Nayeon never does find out why he doesn’t come home.

 

* * *

 

**_Seoul, South Korea, 2012_ **

Jaebum’s hands won’t stop shaking no matter how hard he tries.

He hadn’t meant to walk in- he’d just been trying to find Jinyoung, find his partner, who should be _practicing_ \- and it’s really not his fault, how was he supposed to know? How could he ever have guessed that they- that he-

“Jaebum please,” Jinyoung has caught up with him, and his voice is high and desperate, “Hyung you can’t tell anyone. Hyung please just look at-” He grabs at his arm, and Jaebum wrenches his hand away like he’s been burned. 

“No! Just- just leave me alone alright?” He hisses, eyes wild as he stalks into an empty practice room, “I don’t need reminding of what I saw.”

Jinyoung and Wonpil together, alone.

He’d at first he’d just thought they were talking, and that’s why their faces were so close. And then he thought his eyes were seeing wrong, as his brain registered exactly what was going on. There was just no way he could actually be seeing this. But if there was any doubt in his mind, the horror mirrored on both their faces at seeing him standing there was all the confirmation that he needed.

“So you’re ashamed of me?" Jinyoung persists, "Disgusted?”

“What does it matter Jinyoung? I’m not going to tell anyone, I’m not risking getting disbanded because you couldn’t keep it in your pants.”

Jinyoung sneers and says, “Answer me Jaebum, come on, that’s why you can’t look at me isn’t it?”

Jaebum ignores him. His ears are ringing, and his head feels light. He can't deal with this right now, he just can't. He curses the world and curses the timing and curses this stupid, stupid boy Park Jinyoung. With his puppy face and his infuriating clinginess and his absolute naivety. 

“How can you be so _stupid_?” He fumes, “ _Anyone_ could have walked in, anyone could have saw, would fucking- fucking Kim Wonpil been worth that?”

“Answer the question hyung, are you ashamed? You’re already so cold to me, is this just the final straw?”

“That has nothing to do with this.”

“That has everything to do with this!”

Jaebum keeps catching sight of them in the practice room mirror and it makes him feel sick. How did everything get so wrong?

“Just- just stop Jinyoung." He whispers, "I need to think this all through.”

“No- while we’re on the subject, you never believed in me from the beginning, right?" Jinyoung's voice is uncharacteristically bitter, the words coming harsh and made to hurt, "I was always just the child at your heels, the kid who got fucking lucky with the unflappable Im Jaebum- the only time you give me attention is in interviews and I just-.”

Jaebum cuts him off, “I said _stop,_ Jinyoung.”

“ _No_ ,” Jinyoung is practically vibrating with anger at this point, and Jaebum sees everything he has worked for falling apart right in front of him, “You don’t know what it’s like hyung, you don’t know how hard it is. To feel like, like your own body betrays you. You think I asked to be like this? You think I _wanted_ to?”

Jinyoung stares at him coldly, stares at him like he's nothing.

“You could never understand.”

Jaebum feels like he is no longer in his body at this point, like he’s watching this all play out from afar. Maybe that’s what possesses him to say quietly,

“How do you know?”

Jinyoung stares at him, “What?”

“How do you know I don’t understand?” Jaebum is getting angry again, the fight in him coming back just as quickly as it had left, and his hands clench into fists at his sides, “Who are you to fucking- to fucking decide what it is I am? You think you have me all figured out huh?" He taunts, "You think you know me at all?”

Three years of anger and resentment and misunderstanding culminate in this moment. He kisses Jinyoung then, hard, right on the mouth. It makes their teeth clack together painfully and Jinyoung is so shocked he doesn’t respond at first. His lips warm and soft and unmoving against Jaebum’s mouth. That gives him a thrill of satisfaction, _good_. It serves Park fucking Jinyoung right for thinking he knows anything at all.

He’s not sure who pulls away first, it might have been him, because Jinyoung is still standing there with his mouth slightly parted- a kind of awed look on his face. Jaebum still feels like he's going to throw up, but he has regained some of his composure. 

“Maybe I just know what I needed to give up to be here.” He says, sounding much calmer than he feels,”Maybe- maybe I just am mature enough to let it go.”

Jinyoung is silent, his eyes wide.

“Don’t let that happen again Jinyoung. I mean it.”

“Yes, hyung.”

After that, things change for the two of them. There’s a kind of unspoken understanding, maybe even an unspoken respect. And their relationship begins to improve- slowly but steadily. Something ended that day, something neither of them know quite how to put into words. 

They never talk about it.

(But there’s something, something, in the back of Jaebum’s mind, a question that he repeats again and again on the off chance that it crosses his mind and he allows himself the luxury of letting it stay there for more than a few short seconds.

Why didn’t that feel like a first kiss? The first kiss- his first kiss, their first kiss, but it _was_

Wasn’t it?)

 

* * *

 

**_The First_ **

**_Open waters, sometime in 1600_ **

Pirates don’t care who they fuck.

There’s no rules on the sea, where the only constant is the rocking of the boats against the water and the promise of new places and new loots.

And Jinyoung and Jaebum are a formidable force apart, but they are downright legendary together. Whatever hushed whispers people may say of their relationship is left to the wind, because the fact is that Captains Jinyoung and Jaebum could murder you before the words even left your mouth. Could get your whole crew if you gave them enough time. And besides, a pirate is akin to trash amongst common folk anyway; they were already hated, already feared- it’s not as though two men together was anything worth looking at.

Jaebum lies beside Jinyoung in the captain's quarters, his own vessel is docked in the Caribbean for a few more days, so he is staying with the other man and his crew. Just for few more stolen minutes together.

Jinyoung runs a hand along Jaebum’s side and whispers, “Why do you let go of my hand? When we are walking in the streets?”

“Jinyoung, it’s different here. We can be free here but- but out there?” He gestures with a hand, pointing vaguely in the direction of the island they left behind, “It’s dangerous. It’s better to be apart.”

“I suppose.” Jinyoung replies, he sounds unbothered, but the look on his face tells a different story.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum insists, “I’m free when I’m with you, isn’t that enough?”

Jinyoung has won many, many fights over the years. There’s proof of it in the scars on his body and the blood on his swords. But this fight, the scars left on his heart, those are the ones that cannot be won.

So Jinyoung leans in, presses a gentle kiss to his lips, and says, “Of course it is.”

Jinyoung dies not long after, caught in a mutiny from unloyal crew members, and Jaebum never finds another. He wasn’t even on the ship, didn’t find out until his own docks months later.

In this life, Jaebum is blessed with a long life that he does not want. Men come and go throughout the years, but none stay for long, and none try and hold his hand.

For that, he is glad. The only person who would have been allowed is Jinyoung.

 

* * *

 

**_The Last_ **

**_Seoul, South Korea, 2016_ **

Jaebum is having nightmares again.

This one is particularly vivid, and he thinks he might be in Hell. The ground is a river of mud underneath him, wet and cold and made worse by the rain pelting down on him. There are screams in the background, of dying horses and men. And Jaebum is trying so hard to get up, but his armor is so heavy, and he is so _tired._ Bone-deep exhausted.

But his men are dying-

_What?_

Jaebum has some awareness he’s dreaming, but it keeps fading away in light of the panic that feels so real. His people are _dying_ , and Jaebum can’t get up. He tries again, and this time he winces and grabs at his side- when he pulls his hand away it comes back bloody, and he realizes why he is so tired.

Jaebum is dying, in this Hell of death and despair.

To his left, he hears a man crying. He is begging for his mother, but his Korean sounds stilted and strange. Jaebum longs for his own mother now, and he pushes up with his hands weakly, trying to discern where he is. He holds back a cry of pain as he jolts his wound, and it is then he hears the sound of someone running through the slop and the sludge straight towards him. He closes his eyes, and accepts his fate that someone has come to finish the job.

“Jaebum, Jaebum?” The voice is panicked, and even in this state he’d recognize it anywhere.

“Jinyoung?” He croaks out.

Jinyoung is in front of him now, but it is not Jinyoung- not quite. This Jinyoung is much, much older, with more crinkles lining his eyes and streaks of gray beginning to set in his hair. His clothing is strange, but also familiar in a way that Jaebum can’t identify. And as Jaebum looks at his own veiny hands on Jinyoung’s shoulder, he realizes that he is older too.

“Jaebum, look at me- stay awake- everything is going to be okay. I’m going to get you to safety and you’re going to be fine.”

Jaebum is trying to listen to Jinyoung, he really is. But the world is turning into shades of gray, and his vision is failing him more and more as the seconds pass by. Weakly, he squeezes Jinyoung’s shoulder- he doesn’t want him to be so upset.

“Jaebum.” Jinyoung’s voice cracks.

“Love you Jinyoungie,” He slurs, “Even though you’re old now.”

The rain has soaked Jinyoung’s hair, and it runs in rivlets down his face as he lets out a small laugh despite himself, “You’re old too you fool, you-” He pauses, and Jaebum sees that it’s not the rain on Jinyoung’s face, but tears, “You just had to keep fighting, you couldn’t be satisfied, Jaebum, I’m so sorry.”

Jaebum doesn’t have the strength to reply, but he hopes Jinyoung knows that he says it’s okay, and to not worry.

“Jaebum?” His vision is entirely black now, even the sounds of the horses and men sound so far away, “Jaebum, Jaebum I love you so much, I don’t regret any of it- absolutely none- Jaebum, I love yo-”

Jaebum gasps awake, sitting straight up in bed. He is covered in sweat, and he frantically feels at his side. There is no blood, there is no wound, the only pain he feels is the ache from his back, but he has gotten used to that.

Jaebum pants, trying to hold back the panic. The dream is already losing detail in his memory, the field, the sounds, Jinyoung, and all that remains is the _cold._ Dreams like these always fade, but the feelings stay. And this one has left him with the kind of chill that settles in your bones, and is only felt as the life drains out of you, the acceptance, the regret-

It’s not real.

He reminds himself again.

_It’s not real._

His shirt is sticking to his back with sweat, and he can’t shake the jitters he feels. Jaebum knows after a nightmare like this, and there’s no use trying to go back to sleep.

With a sigh he gets up, careful to not disturb Jackson sleeping above him, and heads into the living room for a long night of staring at the TV into the sun rises again.

 

╬╬═════════════╬╬

 

Another nightmare comes, but this time he’s sharing a room with Jinyoung in Chicago. Their relationship has grown a lot over the years, evolving into one of a mutual understanding and respect that both time and maturity has enabled them to have. Jaebum has gotten more comfortable trusting Jinyoung, and relying on him- even though he still struggles sometimes to put it into words.

This one is hazy, not as vivid, but as he’s returning to consciousness one thing persists, and it’s Jinyoung’s face looking at him, a little sad, a little wistful, and much younger. He couldn’t be more than sixteen. Jinyoung is saying something in the dream, something about his father, he’s reaching towards Jaebum but Jaebum tries and pushes him away.  

_why is Jinyoung always in his damn dreams?_

“Hyung?” A voice is calling, “Wake up,”

He realizes that he is being shaken awake, and he eventually forces his eyes open to see Jinyoung sitting over him, his hands on his shoulders.

“What?” He croaks out, he feels jittery and off balance, and is glad he can’t remember all the details of the nightmare.

“I think you were having a bad dream, you were making noises.” Jinyoung says softly. Jaebum glances at the clock on the bedside table- 5:16 A.M.

“I-” He starts, but his throat is so dry that it’s hard to get the words out, “Thank you. I was. I’m okay now though.”

“Are you sure?” Before he can even reply Jinyoung is moving again, “Let me get you some water.”

Jinyoung returns a moment later with a glass, putting it under his lips and helping him sit up. If Jaebum wasn’t still so off kilter from the dream, he would protest at being babied, but as it is he just takes grateful sips and tries to calm down.

It’s not working. 

“Do you have these types of dreams often?”

Jinyoung is blurring a little, looking more like the Jinyoung in his dream. His face is softening, changing again, and Jaebum feels a little sick. 

“I- uh- I only have them sometimes.” He manages, “Not all the time.” 

Another memory is coming back to him, he’s in a room and it’s not familiar. But Jinyoung is there, his presence calming and comforting like it always is.

_I’ll take care of you, your majesty._

Jaebum groans, throws back his head and groans again when it hits the headboard behind him.

“Hyung are you sure you’re okay? Should I call someone?”

“It’s- it’s fine.”

Another memory hits, so strong and sudden it makes him gasp.

In English: _Baby, you’re so gorgeous._

This Jinyoung is shirtless, and his eyes are dark and coy.

Jaebum’s head is spinning, and his heart rate is picking up again- the cold sweat is back, soaking his shirt. He dimly feels Jinyoung grab at him, but he is cycling through what feels like a million lifetimes, a million Jinyoungs, a million memories that are both his and not his- achingly familiar and frustratingly foreign.

In English again, but this time with a syrupy accent that makes the words even harder to make sense of: _You’re like me, Jaebum. I know you are._  

Jaebum grabs at his head, “Please,” He doesn’t know who he’s talking to, “Just make it stop.”

Jinyoung, his Jinyoung, is starting to sound panicky, “Make what stop hyung, what can I do to help, please tell me something.”

Lips on his neck, a voice in his ear, Jinyoung’s voice,

_“I’ll always take care of you.”_

The smell of hay, and horses, a kiss on his lips in the dark.  

The rocking of a boat on the waves, a warm hand enclosed in his own.

_Jinyoung. Jinyoung. Jinyoung._

It always comes back to _him._  

A kiss in an empty practice room four years ago, a kiss that never felt like the first.

Blindly, he reaches towards Jinyoung, feels for the back of his head, and he pulls forward and smashes their lips together.

At first, nothing happens. There’s just the heavy sound of his own breathing, and the lack of Jinyoung’s own. He seems to be holding his breath.  

Then,

Relief. 

Because there is no sound, no voices, no memories that aren’t his own flooding behind his eyelids. There is just him, and Jinyoung, and the points of contact between them keeping him grounded- just like they always have.

Jinyoung pulls away first.

“I- what was that?”

“I’m...I don’t know.”

“But I just know that, you’re always there- in my dreams. Somehow, it always leads back to you.”

“And I- I don’t really understand this. And four years ago,” Jinyoung’s eyes widen, “Four years ago we,” He hesitates, “We kissed and maybe then it wasn’t for anything. Maybe I was just angry and bitter but,” 

“I’m older now, and so are you. And we’re both still here.”

“Are you saying?”

“I don’t really know what I’m saying.” He replies, “I just know that you make sense, when other things don’t. And saying this is really embarrassing but I’m saying it anyway because it’s _you_ and you always-”

Jinyoung cuts him off, presses another gentle kiss to his lips. This one does not feel like someone else's, but it instead feels like his own.

“I think I get what you’re saying now.” He whispers.

(The dreams stop two weeks later.)

 

* * *

 

**_Seoul, South Korea 2018_ **

Jinyoung has Jaebum pushed up against the door.

“You know,” Jaebum laughs, “Just because I don’t live here anymore doesn’t mean you can push me around.”

Jinyoung gives him an unimpressed look, “Hyung, as though you living here was ever enough reason for me to not push you around.”

Jaebum probably had a snarky reply, but Jinyoung’s mouth is on his dick- so all his words leave his brain immediately. Jinyoung presses a kiss to the shaft, jerks him off with his hand, and loves that he can make Jaebum just stop functioning like that. He physically sees all the fight drain out of him, and there is nothing more satisfying than making the leader weak.

“Jinyoungie I- ah.” Jaebum tries, and Jinyoung runs a hand behind him just to be mean, knows that Jaebum is still open from when Jinyoung had fucked him last night while Yugyeom was out.

Jaebum looks down at him through his lashes, and runs a hand over his hair, and Jinyoung is hit once again with the fact he has never been more in love. He’s been with this man for years, been in love with him for even longer, but somehow he still manages to make him adore him more and more with each day.

“You look spaced out,” He says, “You still thinking of me or are you daydreaming about someone else?”

Jaebum laughs, tugs at his hair so Jinyoung is level enough to his stomach to place playful kisses by his bellybutton, and says, “Absolutely not. You’re the only one I’m ever thinking about.”

And Jinyoung smiles, and gets back down to business.   

**Author's Note:**

> in case anyone was wondering my thought process- the reason jaebum was being reincarnated is bc jb and jy are soulmates and the universe keeps being like bitch here u go here he is and jb is never in a place emotionally where he can admit to himself that he is gay and allow himself to be with jinyoung UNTIL the end and current timeline, so under this logic that current timeline is where the reincarnating ends because he finally accepts himself and who he is and can have a long happy life with jy
> 
> Anyway i hope you all enjoyed, especially my prompter! You wanted pining and soulmates and history and i think i hopefully delivered?? And a big thank you to Mia and Ally for organizing and putting this on, i love me some bottom jaebum!
> 
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/bellbabyyoon) which i'm trying to use more


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